Male psychology in dating
"In fact," he says, "the less physically competitive his daily life is, the more sports can become a means toward achieving those ideals, at least in his mind." Why can a man enthusiastically (very enthusiastically) sleep with a woman he knows he'll never see again?Well, there's the old Evolution Did It theory: Men are hardwired to spread their seed; women, to find a mate who will protect the children she may bear. According to Lisa Diamond, Ph D, an associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, not only do female rats have more extensive brain circuits for oxytocin—which helps mammals to bond—than males but in humans, women show greater release of the neurochemical during sex (especially orgasm) than men.Another clue comes from a 2007 study (conducted for BMW by a British team that included Oxford psychologists), which found that male drivers actually view their cars as extensions of themselves.
Curious, then, that this is exactly what many dating sites compel us to do.
Thinking carefully about our dream date, and about our own personality, and allowing an algorithm to compute a match, may be an intriguing exercise.
Why do men like to watch violent sports, while a good number of women would rather do almost anything else?
The truth is, football has a lot of female fans (44.3 million women watched the 2009 Super Bowl, for example).
For example, they require you to describe yourself in words (your characteristics and interests, loves and hates); to sum up the attributes of the sort of person you’d like to be with (fun-loving? The psychologists Keith Stanovich and Richard West (and, more recently, Daniel Kahneman in his book ) call this kind of approach to problem-solving “system 2”.
It is slow, deliberative and analytical, a product of our (relatively) recently evolved prefrontal cortex; it enables us to make complex computations, and to direct our attention at particular tasks.
Also, biological anthropologist and Rutgers University professor Helen Fisher, Ph D, notes: "The two brain hemispheres are less well connected in men than in women.
This gives men the ability to focus on one thing at a time and be very goal oriented, whereas the female brain is built to assimilate many feelings at once, and to connect sex and love much more rapidly." Interesting, plausible theories all, but Lucy Brown cautions that we're still really just guessing.
The effect is to evoke a sense of someone, rather than an algorithmic representation of them.
Intuitively building an idea of a person from snapshots of their life – “thin-slicing” as it is known in psychology – is the next best thing when you can’t actually meet them face-to-face. Psychologist Sam Gosling at the University of Texas, who studies how people form impressions of others from cues in their environment, has found that someone’s possessions can teach us more about them than a direct conversation, and more even than what their friends or colleagues might say about them.
And in the end, the fact that men forever remain a bit of a mystery may be part of what keeps us intrigued.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating