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For the early days/weeks, I suggest that you just box up all of the stuff until you feel ready to face it.
Eventually you’ll be able to look at the holiday snaps without feeling sick to your stomach, but not right now. In a year’s time, or whatever, if you do still feel like dumping or even torching the stuff, then do it somewhere safe – like the beach!
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Again in time you can re-add them back to your phone but in the early days, weeks or even months, keeping them out of the phone can be a wise move, in order to resist that all-consuming desire for contact!
EMAILS: Similarly, if you can bring yourself to DELETE all of the old emails between you, then do it.
Do something so simple as to having a manicure, facial or a massage.
Or, maybe purchase that nifty gadget you’ve had your eye on. )Whatever treating yourself means to you – do it periodically to perk yourself up a bit!
Hopefully enough time will have past where you are better able to handle being in touch without all the mental hopscotch!
Put away the letters, pictures and any personal belongings of your ex.
Keep conversations relevant to work, children or classes and away from any emotional topics. Eventually many non-believers come back to SYBD and say they finally had to take my advice and “cut contact”, because it really is too hard trying to be someone’s “buddy” – when you want more. You’re better off saying – “I care for you, and maybe in time, when I am over the pain, we can resume a friendship, but for now I need time to heal and process this.”While it is rare, in some instances, absence DOES make the heart grow fonder and they do realize what they have been missing and reconciliation is on the cards.
This is especially true when your EX starts seeing someone new and starts asking you for advice (yes really! In others, the time apart actually serves to make you see the relationship for how it was, and as shocking as this may be to you right now, in time you just may realize you don’t want to be their friend after all!
It is incredibly cathartic and it just may stop you from saying things to your EX you may later regret.
I highly recommend writing letters to your EX that you don’t actually send.
ED NOTE: You can always use a website like to vent anonymously too.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating